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Sidecars are for bitches…

August 24, 2008

So today I got written off by my hating faaaaeggot friends because when I write my blog I sit here with Thesaurus.com open and they think it’s funny. I only use it because I don’t have the mental capacity to reach into the depths of my mind and pluck a wonderful and alternative word to describe my feelings and emotions, so I need a little help from my pal, Thesaurus. Too bad if you’re too fucking hebetudinous to understand me. I don’t use words I don’t know already (except maybe that one…). Dicks. I jest. What’s really funny is that we all knew, whilst I was being written off, the conversation was going to make it into the blog. I will defend my faux-intelligent and pretentious, cringe-worthy, self important blog until the death.

I save my real thoughts for myself.

A wager was attempted to see if I could go for three days without the Internet. This obviously wasn’t ever going to happen, but I entertained the idea…briefly. I could have won $40 and maybe some chupa chups, I could do with the money but I prefer my sanity more. I’d be able to do it if a) I had t.v b) could fall asleep before 12:00am c) Had more to do than ride my bike and talk shit d) had money to go do stuff. I like being in contact via net. More disturbingly than me feeling like I couldn’t complete this challenge was the fact that I answer to most of the symptoms described here: Internet addiction can harm lives and marriages. This is both laughable and deeply concerning seeing as i’m not sure I want to destroy my marriage with an “internet infidelity”, not least because cheating is horrible but because it would be an internet infidelity. There probably couldn’t be too much more I could do in the world that would be more embarassing. How about winning a wet t-shirt competition….?

Here’s hoping I don’t get the cyber shakes.

Right now i’m really appreciating:

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