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A brief history of Australian time…

August 26, 2008

Thought i’d have a bit of a photograph party and stick up some pictures of what happened on my journey to Melbourne. I’ll start at the beginning…My camera fucked up when I was in Cairns but I didn’t do much other than burn the shit out of my chest and that’s not really something anyone wants to see so here we are at….

Mission Beach, I went to Dunk Island from here. I felt insanely alone but completely happy whilst I was here. The question “what the hell am I doing” often ran through my mind at the beginning.

My first sighting of the wacky australian wildlife, Townsville. It made a horrid sound too.

Airlie Beach: Shortly after this photograph was taken, ‘ring-of-fire’ commenced and I turned into a liquid.

This is Sam, I lived on a boat with him and several others for 6 days around the Whitsundays. I slept in the sail one night, which I regretted. I developed an intense and fleeting crush on him because he showed absolutely no interest in me. He was from New Zealand and had a wonderful accent that made me melt. A coke bottle exploded in his face one day but I still thought he was hot. Here he is kissing a fish:

In hindsight I can see why he wasn’t interested…

“hey exotic new zealander of unknown age, wanna go steady with a 2nd degree sunburnt English chick that poses with a can of Woodstock and rocks a very dubious hat-and-sunnies combo?” My answer would be ‘no thanks’ too.


Brisbane: In the future, everyone is asian and fights spherical machines. I bought a banana here that had dark chocolate in the middle.


Kroombit Cattle Station: I climbed this mini-mountain (Mt Kroombit) at 7am wearing flip flops. I learnt to crack a whip, shoot a shotgun better than all the boys and some words for colours in Belgian here. I also learned that girls complain about everything.


Fraser Island: By far the favourite place i’ve been in my life. Sand got into everything I owned and we had to dig holes to wee in (something to do with Dingos and the environment) but I swam in freshwater lakes, climbed a huge dune that made me feel like i was in Siria, saw wild dingos, dolphins, sharks, spiders and snakes, drove a 4×4 over insane terrain and almost killed us all and learnt that Norwegians get “freakayyy” with each other after a few beers. We lived totally wild for three days and I returned with some parts of my hair that had to be cut out from all the wildness i’d been up to.

Wild shipwreck

Wild Dolphins

Wild dingo. This woman is asleep with her infant while a wild Dingo robs her blind mere inches away

Wild Indian Head

Wild driving skillz.


Byron bay. Home of the invisible man…

My first drive-thru bottle-o. It wasn’t as exciting as my face suggests.

I don’t know who that is in the middle. Elaine and Annie either side.

Fun with lighthouses. I wanted to slide down but I also didn’t want to break my neck.

6am walks alone

You don’t know somebody until you’ve shaken hands over fresh vomit.

I think this was the day three chicks had to be airlifted from the shipwreck because there were sharks circling them and also when this girl I knew got stung by a jellyfish and vommed from the shock. Bodyboarding was boss.

The promoters for ‘SoCo’ were enjoying us so we got free drinks all night at a grotesque club called Cheeky Monkeys, uh, and I think a free sombrero too. We had to share that though.

Again, who is this??


Surfer’s Paradise….

All i had to eat was plastic…I remember there being an unreasonable amount of ants in this place.

I wrote my initial with the moon…


Sydney sucked, too much vomit and sushi…

There’s a possibility I’m having a stroke in this picture…


My first day in Melbourne, fresh off the plane

Here I am inaugurating the amy-the-n00b personality…

The Great Ocean Road…

I don’t know who the girl is

Bronson was nowhere to be found…

Wild Koala kickin back in a tree…(excuse the chromatic aberration, i’m zoomed about 15 times)

Some film was made here or something

Tree vagina

Hangin at the apostles

Point Break Beach apparanz.

Jesus loves you

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