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The Walrus and the Carpenter…

November 16, 2008

Today we went on a Dolphin hunt in Sorrento.  Not the death related kind, the swim-and-be-in-harmony-with kind.  My parents paid for the pleasure for us all to experience breathtakingly cold water – and I don’t mean “sssffff oohh that’s a bit chilly” I mean “holy fucking shit I immediately need to not be doing this” –  no dolphins and a two hour boat ride in some of the craziest wind i’ve experienced yet in Melbourne.  I didn’t mind much because we saw a bunch of seals hanging out and we got all up in their grillz.

Here they are…

s1054441Seriously, these smelled so bad.  Imagine a hooker’s snatch after a hard day’s work on a hot summer’s day marinaded in dead fish guts.  It was unbelievable. I had to wear my snorkel mask the entire time so my nose wasn’t exposed to the malodors they were throwing us from their bandstand. I jumped in the water to check them out anyway and took some photos on an underwater camera i need to develop.  I’m pretty sure there were no good shots because I was too busy fighting the ridiculous current and getting swept away.  I started to laugh really hard because I thought I was going to drown.  I don’t know why that happened.  I’d have been a gonner if I wasn’t wearing flippers.

Dribbling on your pillow is such a mood killer…

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s1054453One was doing a handstand in the water about a foot away from me so I touched it, I figured it would bite me but I did it anyway.  It felt like a wet horse.  It didn’t bite me.

Me and mum hanging out on the boat.  Getting into that wetsuit took me fifteen minutes, it smelled weird.

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By this point me, mum and Tony were shaking all over from the cold.

These started circling the boat…they obviously knew we were on the brink of death…

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Ready to vapourise us into white shit.

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Monday I’m seeing penguins.  Tuesday i’m beaching and eating.  Wednesday I’m seeing an Ocean Road.

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