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The Walrus and the Carpenter…

November 16, 2008

Today we went on a Dolphin hunt in Sorrento.  Not the death related kind, the swim-and-be-in-harmony-with kind.  My parents paid for the pleasure for us all to experience breathtakingly cold water – and I don’t mean “sssffff oohh that’s a bit chilly” I mean “holy fucking shit I immediately need to not be doing this” –  no dolphins and a two hour boat ride in some of the craziest wind i’ve experienced yet in Melbourne.  I didn’t mind much because we saw a bunch of seals hanging out and we got all up in their grillz.

Here they are…

s1054441Seriously, these smelled so bad.  Imagine a hooker’s snatch after a hard day’s work on a hot summer’s day marinaded in dead fish guts.  It was unbelievable. I had to wear my snorkel mask the entire time so my nose wasn’t exposed to the malodors they were throwing us from their bandstand. I jumped in the water to check them out anyway and took some photos on an underwater camera i need to develop.  I’m pretty sure there were no good shots because I was too busy fighting the ridiculous current and getting swept away.  I started to laugh really hard because I thought I was going to drown.  I don’t know why that happened.  I’d have been a gonner if I wasn’t wearing flippers.

Dribbling on your pillow is such a mood killer…


s1054453One was doing a handstand in the water about a foot away from me so I touched it, I figured it would bite me but I did it anyway.  It felt like a wet horse.  It didn’t bite me.

Me and mum hanging out on the boat.  Getting into that wetsuit took me fifteen minutes, it smelled weird.


By this point me, mum and Tony were shaking all over from the cold.

These started circling the boat…they obviously knew we were on the brink of death…


Ready to vapourise us into white shit.


Monday I’m seeing penguins.  Tuesday i’m beaching and eating.  Wednesday I’m seeing an Ocean Road.

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