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March 17, 2009

I wrote this at 6:32 this morning because I thought it was a mad dream and didn’t want to forget it:

I was hanging out with this guy who looked and acted an awful lot like this other guy i used to go out with in real life a couple years ago.  My consciousness enters the dream as we are strolling down a sunny side street of London around some affluent area.  All of a sudden this  Gordon Ramsey looking man busts out of a house with a sack full of what I ‘telepathise’ as cash.  For some reason I thought it wise to try and stop this man, I don’t know why…I didn’t even question whether this cash might have actually been his in the first place and he was simply in a hurry or something.  I jumped on him but he dove into a nearby taxi and, weirdly, so did the guy i was with (for argument’s sake i’ll call him William because that’s who he looked like).  Not being quick enough to jump inside the taxi i jumped on the roof,  it’s at this stage that things had somehow evolved into a kind of hostage situation and i was now tied onto the roof.  The taxi was also now a white getaway car.  Anyway, at some point along the way, gordon ramsey guy disappears out of nowhere and it’s just william and i.  William is now acting like a work donkey and pulling the taxi along with  a rope and I am contentedly sitting on the roof holding the bag of cash, no longer a hostage.  The urgency of the situation has completely diffused.  We’re ambling along when we see an old friend, Jack and his mate, who i can’t remember the name of.  I’ll call him jasper because that’s who he looked like. (Twilight).  Both of them are devastatingly good looking and i was obviously swooning hard.  I yell out “jack! Jack!” and they stop and we chat.  I explain the last mad few minutes and they tell me they are just wandering around being bored.  Jack breaks away and walks ahead  to speak to william and they look suspicious but i’m too engrossed in the beauty of the new boy, jasper, to care.  I sense this boy is my latest ‘project’ and I flirt wildly,uch to my chagrin i am interrupted when jack and william stop in front of me.  I know william has convinced Jack to go along with whatever his initial plan was for the cash and i’m not remotely bothered by this so long as I get to be near Jasper.  All of a sudden there is an urgency to our situation again.  I don’t know why or what we are doing but we are running to a place to find someone or something.  We find this  house which is called “Flat 5” and is actually a very large London townhouse.  We enter the house and are confronted by a horde of  30 or so inhabitants milling around their living room, which appears to double up as some sort of library as the back wall is completely lined with old books.  Everyone turns and looks at us as we burst through the door but continue on as they were.  They all look as if they have studied at UCL for at least 7 years and there are several of them that look like characters from Indiana Jones.  They are sitting down in the dimly lit room looking engrossed in their very important and intellectual conversations discussing the square root of pi or whatever….  Anyway, jack and william are off rummaging around in some girl’s  bedroom and come out empty handed.  We rush out of the house  and I try and keep up with the four, very athletic, boys.   We find ourselves running through the streets of london, we found that taxi that from earlier that disappeared, commandeered it and rode it like a cart again.  My friend Sarah has now joined the charade and is helping to reach our goal with her new-found knowledge of london.  I still have no idea what is going on and so  demand someone tell me or else i shall sabotage the entire escapade and no one will get any of the cash (apparently i’m in charge of it??).  That’s when william tells me we are trying to find ‘the girl’ so we can make the perfect baby.  “…..Sorry what?” I say.   Somehow, and for some reason this must all happen before the day ends, it was decided that Jack simply MUST pass on his perfect genes TODAY and mate with the most beautiful girl he knows or sees.  We are looking for the girl that was in Flat 5 because she is the prettiest girl he knows.  I’m obviously silently bummed about being completely overlooked to help create the world’s best looking baby.  We keep hunting and hunting and some how find ourselves in the supermarkets walking aimlessly, our purpose now diluted with the  imminent defeat.  Things seem less urgent and  I find myself signing my life away for a year’s supply of chocolate, i can’t remember the terms but i do remember thinking “shit..that probably wasn’t worth all that chocolate”.   I threw some boxes at sarah and that was that.  The end.

I want a personal dream translator.

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