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My delirium…and some lamb

March 29, 2009

I have legitimate insomnia.  It began the week after I stepped off the boat and after my jetlag subsided.  At first I just had trouble getting to sleep, my mind racing a million miles an hour with my new but familiar surroundings, excited and nervous about the months to come, planning my return/next adventure etc.  Then I started waking up a few times a night and taking a little while to get back to sleep, which was annoying more than anything.  Now…I don’t fall asleep at all and when I do it’s a fucked up REM sleep which cultivates the severest of nightmares and vivid dreaming.  I wake up every hour but then take half an hour to get back to sleep, this cycle goes on for the entire night until I give up and go and make breakfast.  When it’s happening I don’t want to get up and walk about or do anything, not even plug into the matrix, for fear i’ll “wake up” more and ruin ANY chances of sleep.  I have no reason not to sleep, I have no job stress, I’m not using money really, I don’t have rent to pay, I work out daily…my life is as cushioned as it could possibly be.  So I just lay there, my blood temperature raising a degree for each minute that passes without sleep, my head psycho-analysing my own head, thinking about everyone’s life – to a creepy degree, their daily routines, what they are doing, who they are hanging out with, why aren’t I going on adventures all the time, what am I doing here, i need a cub, I want to be in love, where’s cupid, I want to live in Australia, I want to live in France, I want to live in Canada, I want to be eremite, I want everything and I want nothing, what do I want.  Over and over and over and over.   I’m nervous i’m going to go insane.

Also, my watch has already stopped working. So that’s less than twenty four hours after putting it on.  What am i, Magneto?  Why am i constantly jewed over with my electronic shit?

On a brighter note we are going to see Cherry’s lamb today.  There will be photos.

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So we went to Cherry’s farm to check out the lambs, we couldn’t go too near because one of the sheep had just birthed some babies over night, seen here looking cute in their amniotic fluid covered coats…

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This fence was electric, i didn't know, and when i leant over my heart almost exploded.

This fence was electric, i didn't know.

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Someone jumped off the Viaduct once and someone in my step dad's work found them.

Someone jumped off the Viaduct once and someone in my step dad's work found them.

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