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The element of strangeness…

November 19, 2009

I wonder if there is a name for this because i’ve had it my whole life and recently i found someone else who got it too:  Sometimes i’ll just be sitting and i’ll notice my feet and they will appear really small or really large to me…to the point where it’s like…’what on earth…my feet look miniature’ as if i am looking at them through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars.  Another example is i’ll be hanging out in the mirror and i’ll notice a part of me and it’s like i’m looking in one of those carnival mirrors where it makes you really stout or really skinny but not in a “i need to go on a diet” kind of way but in a really curious someone’s-kidnapped-the-messenger-between-my-eyes-and-brain kind of way because i’m seeing something insanely distorted.  Other times i’ll get weird sensations, like just now i had the feeling i had to ‘take my hair off’ as if it were a wig.  Another time, a few years ago, i thought one of my hands was about to fall off and i flinched to catch it.  Several months ago me, and my friends were in the pub and out the corner of my eye i saw my friend kinda jump and he was staring at his hands.  When i turned and asked him what was wrong he said “i just realised i have hands” as if they were some alien gift that had been bestowed upon him just a few seconds earlier.  He continued to feel really alarmed at the sight of his hands for the rest of the night.  I suppose i kind of get it spiritually as well, i’ll suddenly realise i actually exist and feel as if i’m supposed to be doing something  and even though it only lasts a few minutes at the most, it’s a terrifying few minutes.  The sensation is like the feeling you get when you are about to jump off something really really high.  I just remembered something else which hasn’t happened in a while, but i get it a few times a year…sometimes it will be as if i am physically made up of several layers of me. So i’ll be running up the stairs and it’s like one or a few weren’t as fast as the first me and i’ll see a trail of ghost me’s that take literally miliseconds to catch up.  Like how you know you can set up your mouse cursor to have a trail of pointers when you move it?  It’s exactly like that and i usually say “whoa” when it happens because it looks crazy.

Maybe i have a brain tumour.

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