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June 19, 2011

When I was 17 I had a 500 day countdown to kill myself hahaha.  I thought life was mundane and I had no intention of just hanging out for the sake of it. I wish I still had my journal from that time – everything I wrote was as if my world was the most awful, unbearable thing.  What a brat.  I’d not even seen anything other than the place i’d grown up in and, looking back, I had a lovely cush existence.  I never went through with it of course and I remember laughing on The Day about what a melodramatic idiot I was.

I do often wonder if anyone kills themselves because they simply can’t be bothered carrying on with the everyday mundanities of life?  Not through a great depression or incurable sadness but just because they are bored?  I’m sure if I didn’t have family I’d consider it.

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